Communication, from the Beginning

On an unusually cold fall day last week, the afterschool director at Shekina's school told me S had come up to her and exclaimed "I'm FREEZING!" She seemed to think it was cute, and perhaps was trying to hint that S needed a warmer coat, so my reaction wasn't what she expected. "Good English!" I excitedly replied. The word freezing might not seem so exciting to you, and probably didn't to her, but to me, it was quite nuanced. Less than five months ago, we were stumbling through communication with an at-first clumsy mixture of French, Lingala, and pantomime. Cold was froid, hot was chaud. "No touche pas!" my mom would say as she was first turning on the shower in Congo. "Tres chaud!" (We were staying at Sunny Days, for those of you wondering where we had such hot water in Kinshasa!) I had studied a little bit of Lingala through the utalk iPhone app, and was so thankful I had. From the minute we arrived at the orphanage on the very first day, Shekina tugged at my arm with Lingala requests. "Mama, asumba." I filed through my utalk words in my head and realized she needed to go to the bathroom. "Mama, mayi." Water--she was thirsty. (To this day, I think she was checking to see if I would fulfill her needs from the very moment she met me, but that's an entirely different story.) 

We became more adept at our own special creole over time, Shekina teaching us Lingala, Koko Vickie and Shekina discovering Lingala/French similarities (French seems to comprise a good bit of their language). We slowly began introducing English words, and, of course, my mom, dad, and I spoke to each other in English, so Shekina heard it spoken all day long. To say that she was and is a sponge is cliche, but it's accurate. There were frustrating times once we got home when she couldn't communicate thoughts, wants, or needs she wanted to express, and there was one week when I felt we had truly stalled. But no. That was just me having too much time on my hands to analyze things. Now that we are all busy and Shekina has been in school for almost three months, I realize how incredibly far she has come. My daughter might not have perfect English--she especially messes up pronouns, which I have always found to be difficult for ELLs-- but she's understanding almost fluently! We have to spell things out or hide our conversations from her completely if we don't want her to hear because she will understand it all! And her English is nearly fluent! Her loving, nurturing preschool teacher has played a big part in her language development, as have her classmates. She mimics things they have said and comes home with new words every day. Last week, after her teacher taught teddy-bear-themed lessons for two weeks, Shekina told us all about hibernation at dinner! Unbelievable. We still have our frustrating times when she can't communicate the thought she so desperately needs to, but those times are generally due to a lack of proper enunciation, not vocabulary. It's unbelievable! We are so lucky to have this smart cookie and all the people who have helped her in our lives. 

With her class's mascot, Spot, who she got to bring home for the weekend. 

These days, we rarely use our Lingala/French creole, and I'm quickly forgetting it, so I thought I'd record it below, just for the memories. Please excuse the spellings if you speak French or Lingala! I'll keep adding to it as I remember. Thanks for following us on our journey!

Anna 

P.S. You may be wondering how Goddy's English is. He tested as having a 40% language deficit about four months ago, and therefore has been receiving early intervention services. We knew it was likely that he tested so low because of his lack of English knowledge, and sure enough he has gained English words at lightning speed. Again, being in a classroom with excellent teachers and chatty peers has really helped speed things along. Today, he knows tons of words and speaks in multi-word phrases; our only worry is enunciation, but we're told that will come with time. 

Our creole dictionary:

Cold: froid

Hot: chaud

Water: mayi

Look!: tele!

Oyo: this (learned while watching TV: "oyo, te!" (This channel show, no!)

No: te

Yes: oui

Bread: lipa

Tea: chai

Milk: miliki

Nasumba/asumba: need to go to the bathroom (I'll spare you the details)

Car: carmeaux

Orange drink: Djino (after a Congolese brand of orange soda)

Chicken: soso

Rice: loso

Chicken and rice: soso na loso

Rice and beans: loso na madesu

Bed: mbetu

I love you: Na lingi yo

Sleeping: la la lingi (Shekina taught me this one, don't know if it's correct)

Wait!: zela!!!

Excellent or good job: Kitoko mingi

Shrimp: cossa cossa 

House: ndaku

Paper: papier

Pool: la piscine

Diaper: couche 

*Sure do wish I could remember more, and that I had recorded more at the time.  Shekina now knows our alphabet, many traditional American children's songs, watches American TV...claims she doesn't know a bit of Lingala. She claimed that long ago. Her rejection of her language and her claim that she doesn't like Africa are perhaps a rejection of her former lifestyle, and/or a way of telling us she wants to stay with us. (Every other day, she also tells us she wants to go back to Africa to visit Papa Fils, Papa Jacques, Ma Blandine, and Papy, all people we worked with in Africa; again, another post for another day!) 

A Monumental Week

There's a reason this blog has gone through a dry spell: the Boltons have been busy, busy, busy! On September 16, Shekina and Godson because US citizens AND our adoption and name changes were finalized, making them official Boltons. Yay! Two days later, Shekina started preschool, her first school experience. (She went for a half day on the 18th, but liked it so much that she started doing full days on the very next day!) Then, on the 22nd, Shekina and Godson were christened in the Episcopal church, after which we had an all-day party at my parents'. Each of these events required paperwork, so when we weren't attending an event, we were filling out, filling out, and filling out. Things are finally settling down now that we've completed the baptism. Kina is in school yet again today (the stimulation seems to be so good for her!), so it's just Godson and me. I've been using his nap time to get the house organized so that I can be extremely organized when I go back to work on Oct 29, a date that is approaching much more rapidly than I'd like it to. Man, I love my job, but how I wish there was a way for me to be a stay-at-home mom or at least just work part-time! This leave is no vacation. I have had a lot to do: get used to being a mom, tour schools, work on behavioral issues, shop for supplies, get health issues under control (thanks to intestinal parasites, I have had to collect stool samples more times than I can now remember, and there are at least two more on the horizon--blech!!!) On top of all that, Godson is the kind of toddler who is into EVERYTHING. He doesn't just pull things out of cabinets, closets, and pantries (though he definitely does those things); he puts things in the toilet and plays in it anytime Shekina or I forget to shut the bathroom door. Even worse bc it's so dangerous, he's discovered the dog door and is pretty much obsessed with it. The second I can't find Godson in my smallish house, I peek outside, and sure enough, he has just finished climbing out the dog door and is headed towards the small fountain I have in the backyard. He absolutely loves playing in the water, and, disgustingly, tries to drink from it just like the dogs do. He also likes to grab a dog bowl, dish water out of the fountain, and then bring the water back inside through the dog door. Why don't I shut the dog door? Sometimes I do, but when I do, my little dog Teddy (who grew up in a hoarding situation and won't let me catch him) takes that as an invitation to use the house as his restroom facility. No thanks! I'd rather watch Godson like a hawk and deal with wet clothes and a wet floor every now and then...or every other hour, realistically. I have started calling Godson my little Labrador, because the other day he went out the dog door in the pouring rain and just stood there grinning! I took pictures until I caught him doing this: 

Love my little Labrador, even if he's a dirty little boy! 

Here are some pictures from our Citizenship/Adoption Finalization Day, as well as the baptism party. 

Baptism party:

And finally, Shekina's first day of school. 

Hope everyone is well! 

Anna